CrossFit CEO Glassman to takeover NBC’s The Apprentice

STUDIO CITY, CA – The once-successful, Donald Trump reality show, The Apprentice, disappeared soon after Trump’s ascension to the presidency. This week, however, NBC announced Trump’s replacement: CrossFit CEO Greg Glassman.

Glassman built CrossFit into a “constantly varied” fitness phenomenon, but in the past several weeks the only thing which has been constantly varied has been Glassman’s plans for the future of CrossFit.  In fact, the only constant that echoes through the halls of CrossFit HQ in Santa Cruz is Glassman’s appropriation of Trump’s famous catchphrase, “You’re fired!”

That utterance caught the attention of producers at NBC. The network’s creative development director, Murph Griffin, has already inked a deal for Glassman to replace Trump as the titular head of The Apprentice.

According to Griffin,”Greg is great TV.  He looks like a homeless Howard Hughes on a weeklong bender without his meds. Despite that, he was able to create something from nothing and now he appears Hell-bent to ruin it.  It’s a train wreck and NBC will be right there to chronicle everything as Glassman burns CrossFit to the ground.”  The show has been taping for the last two weeks at a built-for-tv gym called CrossFit Nero.