BYHALIA, MS- The writers of the most popular fitness news website with under 30 readers, The Daily Dumbbell, came under fire this week when they admitted that they have no idea who Brett Kavanaugh is and had to Google what GOP stands for.
Lead investigator for the Dumbbell, William Hall, claimed he felt certain that Brett Kavanaugh was a third baseman for the Kansas City Royals in the mid-eighties, while beat reporter, Steve Holland, felt confident that the GOP was the DJ for Biggie Smalls back before he was killed by the Fresh Prince of Bel Air on the New Orleans strip.
When asked if Hall thought it was irresponsible to be so incredibly ignorant to current events while having an obligation to delivering the news to the general public, Hall responded, “We are very busy at The Daily Dumbbell. You have no idea the difficulty that goes into uncovering the truth about fictional events that never occurred in the fitness industry. Chances are if it doesn’t involve a grown man in speedos or some dude with a gold chain and a bald spot trying to break his Fran time, we just can’t devote our time to making up stories about it. There is just no place for politics when discussing something as important as exercise.”
The investigators leading this case claimed that wasting your time reading such garbage as The Daily Dumbbell was equal parts fruitless and dangerous.
