Thanks To Technology, Everybody’s Kid Can Be A D1 Athlete

The day of Technology is finally upon us. The age when all of our athletically gifted children can finally play out their dreams of being a Division 1 athlete at the university of their choice.

Thanks to the makers of the Soloshot sports camera, obsessive dads with knock-kneed kids who run a five-second-plus forty yard dash, cannot dunk a basketball on an eight-foot goal and will likely never grow to see six feet tall can finally record the unique abilities of their little athletic star and inundate coaches all over the country with their homemade highlight films.

Darnell Williams, the father of second-string high school wide receiver, Willy Williams, says “It’s about time that my kid got the special attention that he deserves. The head coach doesn’t see his talent cause he doesn’t know shit. With the Soloshot camera, my Willie will be dressing out for Alabama within the next two years.”

Joe Lee McElroy, father of little league right-fielder, Chubs McElroy, says, “These little league coaches can’t spot major league talent. I stand at the fence and tell these coaches what they need to do and they don’t listen. My Chubs listens. Each time that I yell at him from the sidelines and he begins to cry, I know that he has learned something. And, I also know that the other parents can tell that I was a star athlete in my youth as well…we just didn’t have a Soloshot camera.”

Few would argue that our kids are special, they simply need the right angle and zoom lens to showcase their unique talent. Most parents of young athletes agree, there is a good chance that their child will have a successful career in professional sports, it’s just a matter of editing and a high frame rate.

Obsessive, delusional parents agree, Soloshot has increased the odds of impossible. Every kid is a D1 athlete.

***BREAKING NEWS- There is also a newly released, Soloshot CrossFit Pro series for those people who consistently finish in the top 3 of their small box- of primarily middle-aged and mildly overweight athletes- who hold onto the dream of someday making it to the CrossFit Games.***

Nothing is as out of reach as reality. Keep reaching.

Go be a star today.