Memphis, TN – As the CrossFit community continues to reel following last week’s reorganization of the CrossFit Games, cottage industry fitness entrepreneurs are being forced to adapt. In Memphis, the People’s Republic of Barbells and Fitness (formerly and better known as Barbell Shrugged) has concluded it must rename its most popular training program.
For years, Barbell Shrugged has been a leader in developing athletes to qualify for CrossFit Regionals, a semifinal fitness contest en route to the CrossFit Games. It’s “Road to Regionals” was its most popular training program.
“Since Regionals are no more, we’ve decided to change our program. Fortunately, we previously developed a system of flowcharts and Venn diagrams to automate our decision-making process,” said Doug Bledsoe from within his yurt on the Mongolian steppe where he currently resides while away on a corporate retreat. “Our reimagined training program will now be called ‘Road to Nowhere.’ It’s really even more appropriate because fitness is just a journey. A journey with no beginning and no end. Like sands through the hourglass….” Bledsoe droned before either his satellite phone lost its connection or he fell asleep mid-sentence.
Whether or not the program will be a success is yet to be seen. Reaction from Regional athletes cannot yet be measured because most are too busy reading the recent and numerous sponsorship revocation letters.