Cellucor Offering Killer Incentive Plan


James Nephtox, marketing manager for Cellucor, the makers of the widely-popular C4 Pre-workout, has announced an innovative new incentive program for the users of their products.

“Kidney Kash” is the name of the bonus structure intended to stimulate sales of the C4 product. The program is designed as such that anyone who is part of the program will receive $1 worth of Kidney Kash for every pound of C4 Pre-workout purchased.

Mr. Nephtox shares with us, “There will be several different items available that you can purchase with Kidney Kash that you earn. For example, for $10 of Kidney Kash you can buy a hardcore detoxification elixir that has almost been made legal in Mexico. Also, if you earn $100 in Kidney Kash, Cellucor will send you a free defibrillator.”

Nephtox went on to say, “The real kicker is that for every $1,000 of Kidney Kash earned, you will receive a free kidney transplant from a non-C4 user. So, basically, you are being given back everything that you gave to C4. What a deal?!”

Nephtox boasts that his pre-workout is 100% safe and also adds that “Tingling, itching, sweating, panic attacks, bedwetting, tremors and arrhythmia is just part of being a badass gym-bro. There has been absolutely zero indication that C4 is anything other than a necessary part of being a successful athlete.”

We asked Nephtox why they were enticing users with things like cleanses and free kidneys. He responded,

“No reason imparticular.”