CrossFit Coach Files Workman’s Comp Claim: “Too Many Fist Bumps”

ABERDEEN, TX- Amanda Darnell, coach at CrossFit Buttwink has filed a workman’s compensation claim for injuries she reports were due to the conditions of her work environment. Darnell states that the constant barrage of fist-bumps left her with carpal tunnel syndrome, limiting the use of her wrists.

Coach Darnell complained of having to fight through the discomfort in order to keep everyone’s ego-stroked.

Darnell asked us “Do you have any idea how much reassurance the males in these gyms require? If you’re not a CrossFitter, you know how painful it is to watch all the fist-bumps; can you imagine what it is like to receive all of them?”

She went on to say, “What would you do in my situation? I have to be encouraging. There hasn’t been a squat that has broken parallel since we opened our doors, the snatches look like snipers are landing headshots midway through their movement, and all of our member’s deadlifts look like the St. Louis Arch….but you have to fist-bump. They pay good money for fist-bumps.”

While coach Darnell acknowledges that she attended a 3-hour, $700 course to properly perform the fist-bump, she believes that at some point the body is just going to break down.

Darnell concluded, “Fist-bumps are important but so are rest days. There is rarely talk of any coaches taking fist-bump days off. It’s a constant thing at our gym. The men here would die of insecurity if there was no one here to constantly reassure them through praise and fist-bumps.”