Experts Unite: Brave subjects agree to radical nutrition study

PORTLAND, OR- The globe’s top nutritionists have agreed to a temporary truce in the debate between what is a “healthy diet”.

Thanks to the revolutionary idea of Dr. David Dixsweed, the Summit for Hostile Nutritionists has decided to put a test into place and finally put forth some real effort into figuring out what a “healthy” diet consists of.

Dr. Dixsweed says, “We want to try something that has never been done before. Instead of the keto, paleo, high-carb, low-carb, cottage cheese, zone, micro-, macro-, or juice diets we are going to get creative. We want to see what happens to the human body if we find a middle ground. We would like to see what happens to a person if they don’t eat like a complete shitbag or an obnoxious asshole.”

According to Dixsweed, the participants are aware of the dangers that something as untested as this are associated.