CrossFit Gym Member Forced To Listen To Widespread Panic; Fails Drug Test

OLIVE BRANCH, MS- Sarah McGinenharthy is an administrative assistant who takes both her job and her fitness very seriously. Sarah claims that she failed a drug test and was placed on administrative leave after participating in a CrossFit class that played Widespread Panic during the workout.

Sarah told us that she is a good Christian girl who has never done a drug in her life and was unfamiliar with the Widespread Panicked.

Sarah claims that the warmup consisted of hula-hooping, noodling and ten minutes of shoulder shrugs and head-turning referred to as the “yes-no-maybe.”

Sarah went on to say that, “It was all really strange. Some of the other members had pacifiers and glow sticks. They were paying a lot of attention to the chalk bucket and some were even sticking their face in it. The gym smelled like marijuana and dirty hippies which is much different from the usual smell of knee-sleeves and chaffed taint that I am familiar with. Oh, and the music sucked- the class was an hour and I don’t even think they had finished their first song. Weird.”