CrossFit Screens Pilot Of New Sitcom

STUDIO CITY, CA – Famed financier and TV producer Steven Stauff, has announced his partnership with CrossFit’s functional fitness luminary, Greg Glassman. Together, they are holding screenings of their new “fitcom” for network executives. The new show is titled “The Death of an Oldman”.

The story is centered around a retired and grumpy traveling salesman named Willy Oldman. Otherwise resigned to an ignominious fate, Oldman finds a new spark and direction in life due to functional fitness. In the pilot episode, Oldman is a veritable fount of zingers and dad jokes. Most of these focus upon Oldman’s use of everyday objects as substitutes for fitness equipment.  Oversized bottles of Windex, a clothes iron, an ottoman, and the cat, are all fair game in the Oldman’s new fitness regimen.

Glassman recently sold the idea to Stauff on the basis that CrossFit has redefined itself from niche fitness clique to global healthcare provider with legions of devoted geriatric viewers donning Metcons and knee sleeves.  In return, Glassman plans to dedicate all revenue from the show into a cure for cancer, which will, of course, be patented and promoted by CrossFit.

At this time, the show has not been picked up for production as networks have been unimpressed.  Thus far, the only interest in the pilot has been tepid feelers from the executives at the Lift Heavy Run Long® podcast.