Despite Layoffs, CrossFit Inexplicably Retains Dave Castro

SANTA CRUZ, CA – CrossFit CEO, Greg Glassman, recently announced a wave of layoffs within the CrossFit Games staff.  The layoffs appear to be partially motivated by budget concerns and Glassman’s desire to make the CrossFit Games appeal to a broader audience.  Inexplicably, however, Glassman has chosen to continue the employment of the much-maligned Games puppet master, The Dave Castro.  The move has left many in the CrossFit community confused.

“So Glassman is looking for more appeal, and he doubles down on Castro?” asked Games fan, Dustin Thompson. “Castro’s shoe game is good, but the Reebok deal is already in the ditch and who can forget ‘Corn Row Castro’? Seriously, nobody.” Thompson cringed.

Castro could not be reached for comment but was seen on Instagram bush-hogging his ranch in Aromas, California, presumably making preparations for the more budget friendly 2019 CrossFit Games.

In related news, Rogue Fitness has announced its entry into the realm of power take-off mower decks.