Father-In-Law Disqualified From Thanksgiving For PED’s

FORT SMITH, AR.- Every year millions of Americans sit down to compete in the country’s largest competition of strength, speed, and endurance- Thanksgiving supper.

Everyone knows the amount of respect that can potentially be won (or lost) based on one’s performance during the Thanksgiving meal and the nap which takes place directly after, so it’s no surprise that people will do whatever it takes to gain a competitive advantage.

For years Barry Whitehall has been the clear champion of his family’s holiday gathering, so it came as a shock when his father-in-law, Ray Huddleston, came out of the gates with guns blazing and was unconscious before the Lions even kicked the football.

Barry claims that his father-in-law has always been a solid eater but was weak in his nap game. He said he became suspicious when he saw him drooling onto his cranberry-stained shirt so early in the event. Barry knew something didn’t smell right.

Upon further investigation by the National Council Of Holiday Sport Gorging it was ruled that Huddleston had in-fact been mainlining tryptophan, the chemical responsible for napping after turkey-laden holiday meals.

Huddleston has been stripped of his title, banned from competing in Christmas dinner and will not receive Tupperware dishes of leftovers. On top of what Huddleston believes is ample punishment, he will also have to sit-out the desert portion of Thanksgiving 2019 and is ineligible for bowls of gravy.

Huddleston plans to appeal his case as he believes foul play is involved.