Girlfriend Fearful of Accidentally Accomplishing Boyfriend’s Long-Term Goal

PITTSBURG, PA- Julia Ducette loves her boyfriend, James Worthy. It seems as if James has set his sights on a long-term goal of running a marathon. Julia supports James in all his endeavors but admits that she is a little bit concerned about how all of this plays out.

Julia tells us, “James is working so hard. He bought a $500 GPS watch, $300 worth of shit from Lulu’s mom, $150 pair of running shoes, a subscription to ‘Runner’s World’, and even his own personal running coach who tells him what to do in all of his spare time. The amount of data that he is required to process is unbelievable. Everything from elevation to VO2 Max to resting heart rates to macros- you name it, James is calculating it.”

It appears as if James isn’t alone. Julia told us, “James has people from all over the world that he has never even met before telling him what he should do and what to be careful of. It seems as if there are tons of really, really smart people out there who are willing to give free advice. Who knew there were so many professionals with that much time on their hands?”

There is one problem though, Julia’s work is a major sponsor in the marathon that James is planning to run, so Julia has been asked to participate in the marathon by her supervisor. Being that Julia is a regular person who stays pretty active and eats a fairly balanced diet she does have reason to fear.

Julia tells us, “I’m afraid that I’m going to go run the marathon and not get rhabdo, injured, or exhausted like all of the online experts tell me I will. I’m afraid that because I take pretty good care of myself, that I will finish the race without buying $1,000 worth of bullshit and obsessing over every tiny unproven detail. I will feel like a terrible person if I show James that it is not as hard as the internet wants him to believe it is.”