Gym Owner Uses Busted Bumper To Raise Awareness

OLIVE BRANCH, MS- Brittney Diseroad seems to have it all: great hair, a pretty smile, a perfect job, a successful gym, and decent breath. However, one thing stands out- the bumper to her car is all jacked up.

We caught up with Brittney to find out why she won’t fix her piece of shit bumper. She told us, “I keep my rear-end broken to remind people of all the folks out there who can’t get their ass in gear. It’s to raise awareness for those who can’t get their butt to the gym and start working on it. I am the 50 Cent of fitness- my bumper is my band-aid. I am the Colin Kaepernick of kipping; the Statue of Liberty of lunges.”

Brittney emphasized, “It’s all about awareness. If you are going to be a role model, you have to think about others. I’m willing to sacrifice the aesthetics of my car if it might help inspire just one person.”

A friend close to the Dumbbell, Mark Fortune, doesn’t buy it. As Fortune shakes his head in disbelief, he tells us, “She has asked me to take her to the body shop on three different occasions to fix the bumper. Every time, she manages to find a ‘Happy Hour’ at a local bar somewhere along the way. By the time I can convince her to leave, eight hours later, the body shop is inevitably closed.”

Brittney sent Fortune immediately to the corner and asked our crew to leave as she locked the doors behind us, saying something about getting the hose again.