KYOTO, JAPAN- King Hippo filed suit against millionaire legend, Bald Bull, this week, making claims that Mr. Bull profited from a workout movement that he invented.
The “Turkish Get-Up” is a movement made famous by Bald Bull but whose rights belong to CrossFit Inc. Most of you might remember that Bald Bull signed a sweetheart of a deal in the early 2000’s which gave CrossFit Inc. the rights to the Turkish Get-Up but allowed a $.10 royalty fee to be paid to Mr. Bull every time the word “Fuck” or “Goddamn” was used in conjunction with that particular exercise. Bald Bull continues to make millions.
King Hippo complains that on a night of cocaine and alcohol-fueled partying after fight night at the Nintendo Arena, some of the boxers started inventing exercises as entertainment. Hippo claims that he invented the movement which came to be known as the Turkish Get-Up.
Hippo insists that Soda Popinski witnessed the entire event but was too drunk to remember. Popinski has been in and out of rehab ever since losing to Little Mac in the mid-eighties.
Hippo tells us, “If Popinski wasn’t such a derelict, he could vouch for me. Piston Honda went out to get chicken wings with Sandman, so they missed the whole event, and Glass Joe is too big of a pussy to take the witness stand. The minute I invented the Turkish Get-Up, I knew that Bald Bull and his oversized head were going to charge me. Of course he did the second bull rush, not the first; the first charge is easy to defend.”
Bull and Hippo are scheduled to go in front of the honorable judge Mario Miyamoto next Thursday. Bald Bull has hired Von Kaiser to be his legal counsel and King Hippo will be represented by Don Flamenco II.
**If you have any information about this case, please contact Super Macho Man of The Daily Dumbbell at 007-373-5963.