Runner Gets Botox On Nutsack; Wants To Appear Youthful At Upcoming Marathon

TAMPA, FL.- Chad Gonad is a distance runner. He likes his runs long and his shorts short.

As a man in his mid-forties, Chad is reaching the age where recapturing his lost youth becomes a priority. Between his gold chain, new Corvette, lifetime supply of Propecia, and referring to his co-workers as “bro” and “homie”, Chad will do whatever it takes to appear youthful.

Chad is super-excited to be participating in an upcoming race in his hometown of Tampa, FL., The Freedom Ball Marathon.

In preparation for Chad’s big race, he decided to have botox performed on his nutsack in case of any wardrobe malfunctions/photo opportunities.

Chad tells us, “There us nothing that ladies enjoy more than a middle-aged man running in exceptionally short shorts. It drives them crazy. If there is a point in the race when there is a pretty girl or a photographer nearby and I decide to hang brain, I want every part of me to appear as youthful and attractive as possible…this includes my ballsack. No one wants a man with old balls.”

We asked Chad if he planned to go balls-out at a specific point during the race. He responded with, “You have to keep them in suspense. 26.2 miles is a long time to keep the people waiting to see an old man’s peach parachute.”

Chad concluded with, “They really do love it, though. The only complaint I get about my shorts is that they are not short enough.”